Battling writer's despair

It's been a long time since I've written in this blog and I feel I should explain. While I could blame a lot of my neglect on holding multiple jobs (one of which sees me write thousands of words a day) and preparing to return to university, I don't think that's the whole story.

I think there's something more directly related to this project that's sapping my attention away from writing, it's a road block I wasn't expecting and I guess I'll call it "writer's despair".

My initial enthusiasm for screenwriting as a hobby and as potential, exciting career move fed me for about a year.

That's a year of practicing, writing, reading, editing, and finally left me with a script I think has a good plot, the outlines of a few more ideas I'd love to spend more time on and the tools to constantly improve.

However, it also left me with a sense of futility. Getting into screenwriting seems like playing the lottery. Even if I become a brilliant writer - I don't even consider myself "OK" yet - my chances on finding success are minuscule, especially being based in England.  

Compounding the problem, screenplays aren't something I can really share with people.

If I wrote a novel I could work to get it professionally edited, have an expert coach read it over and offer suggestions and then have a polished product, just like I could a screenplay.

But, unlike a screenplay, if I write an excellent novel that no publisher will touch I've still got a gift to share with friends and family. I can even mass produce copies myself and sell them on or even try my luck with e-book edition.

Screenplays are niche. Almost no one reads them who aren't interested in making a film or writing a screenplay themselves. This means that outside of its professional medium it's almost entirely pointless.

All is not lost: I think I still want to pursue this, even as a hobby just for me. That turns this problem into an interesting opportunity for this blog.

I now plan to continue working on my scrip and experiencing rejection or criticism and exploring ways to deal with that.

I'll also be on the look out for how others handle writer's despair and try to discover if professionals ever experienced it before finding success.